I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
