I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
