Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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