How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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