That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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