DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize