Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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