You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
