she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
