Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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