The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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