I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
