we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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