Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
