He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.