I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.