he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
