so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
