This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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