I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
