My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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