You surviving the open bar?
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My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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