also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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