i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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