I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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