The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
