I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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