I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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