people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
