There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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