i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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