just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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