is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat