I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.