Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.