Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
