If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I AM VODKA MAN
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
