so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
