Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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