I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
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I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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