Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
