In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
