that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
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Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
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Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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