omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
