Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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