I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
