we have officially lost it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
