Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
