I bet he comes in French.
love makes seman taste better
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
