It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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