Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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