My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
