Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
