No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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