i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
