My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
