i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
