its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize