Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
zippers are such a cool invention
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
