i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Randomize
