conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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