and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
