recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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