i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
lets start a swedish sibling band together
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
