i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
