Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
A bitchslap is in order.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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