I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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