Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
